Abiyamo

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She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don’t Want To Marry Her, Nigerian Man Needs Your Help Seriously

Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story. 
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say. 
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible. 
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out. 

I met this girl in 2017. Can’t really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn’t struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn’t say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word. 
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don’t spend on her, I don’t do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn’t care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn’t hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again. 
With time I started noticing something about her that I don’t like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn’t have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that poo. 
She is a mama’s girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life. 
She won’t sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question. 

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can’t live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want. 

There is only one main reason why I wasn’t really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn’t ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn’t strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn’t see a future with her and I can’t bring myself to be wasting her time. 

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don’t want to marry her and that’s why I am setting her free. 

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn’t infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go. 

I noticed that she haven’t seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn’t interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her. 

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her. 

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don’t want to marry her and I have told her that severely. 

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don’t want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. poo do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister. 

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don’t kill her and the child. 

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left. 

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can’t explain in details because I don’t know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do. 

I don’t want to marry out of pity. I don’t want to live a promiscuous life. I don’t want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more. 

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids. 

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That’s one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is. 

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this. 

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don’t know what to do. -NL

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